120 would you rather questions for couples

Holidays and weekends

• Would you rather a week in a city you have never seen or a week doing nothing by a lake?
• Would you rather plan every day of a trip or land with no plan at all?
• Would you rather a long weekend every month or one big trip a year?
• Would you rather camp in the rain or stay in a bad hotel?
• Would you rather always take the window seat or always get to choose the film?
• Would you rather a road trip with no music or a flight with no screen?
• Would you rather explore a new place alone for a day or go to the same café every morning together?
• Would you rather a beach at dawn or a city at midnight?
• Would you rather eat street food every night or one very expensive dinner?
• Would you rather lose your luggage or lose your phone for the trip?
• Would you rather a cabin with a fire or a flat with a rooftop?
• Would you rather ski or never see snow again?
• Would you rather a surprise trip planned by me or a trip you plan for both of us?
• Would you rather sleep in every day of a holiday or see the sunrise every day?
• Would you rather get lost together or arrive on time separately?

Habits and home

• Would you rather cook every night or clean every night?
• Would you rather a house with a huge kitchen or a huge garden?
• Would you rather live in the countryside with a long commute or in the city with a tiny flat?
• Would you rather never do laundry again or never wash up again?
• Would you rather one big dog or two small cats?
• Would you rather host every dinner party or attend every dinner party?
• Would you rather a bath with no shower or a shower with no bath?
• Would you rather keep the thermostat high or wear the jumper?
• Would you rather a shared calendar or a shared bank account?
• Would you rather wake up at six with energy or sleep until nine and drag?
• Would you rather live near your family or near mine?
• Would you rather get rid of the TV or get rid of the sofa?
• Would you rather always make the bed or never make the bed?
• Would you rather a home full of plants or a home full of books?
• Would you rather redo the kitchen or buy a car?

About us

• Would you rather relive our first date or fast-forward to our tenth anniversary?
• Would you rather I always told you the truth or always told you what you wanted to hear?
• Would you rather have known me at sixteen or meet me at sixty?
• Would you rather a partner who plans or a partner who improvises?
• Would you rather a note in your lunch every day or a big surprise once a year?
• Would you rather we had the same taste in music or the same taste in food?
• Would you rather know everything I am thinking for a day or have me know everything you are thinking?
• Would you rather argue and make up fast or never argue and never make up?
• Would you rather we shared one phone for a week or one wardrobe for a month?
• Would you rather I cooked your favourite badly or someone else cooked it perfectly?
• Would you rather a long love letter or a short voice note?
• Would you rather be told I love you every day or shown it every day, if you could only have one?
• Would you rather I remembered every date or every detail?
• Would you rather be the funny one or the calm one?
• Would you rather grow old somewhere warm or somewhere with seasons?

Silly ones

• Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?
• Would you rather have hands for feet or feet for hands?
• Would you rather only whisper or only shout?
• Would you rather your laugh was a car horn or your sneeze was a trumpet?
• Would you rather always be ten minutes late or always be an hour early?
• Would you rather have a rewind button or a pause button for your life?
• Would you rather taste everything you smell or smell everything you taste?
• Would you rather be a background extra in every film or the villain in one?
• Would you rather be able to talk to animals or speak every language?
• Would you rather have to sing everything or dance everywhere?
• Would you rather eat a whole lemon or a whole raw onion?
• Would you rather be famous for something embarrassing or unknown for something brilliant?
• Would you rather have a personal chef or a personal driver?
• Would you rather it was always summer or always autumn?
• Would you rather know how you will die or when?

Food and drink

• Would you rather give up coffee or give up cheese?
• Would you rather eat breakfast for dinner every day or dinner for breakfast?
• Would you rather eat at the same restaurant forever or never eat at the same restaurant twice?
• Would you rather host a big messy brunch or a long slow dinner?
• Would you rather never eat chocolate again or never eat crisps again?
• Would you rather cook for my whole family or have my whole family cook for you?
• Would you rather your food was always slightly too spicy or always slightly too sweet?
• Would you rather a picnic in the park or a Sunday roast at home?
• Would you rather always order for me or always let me order for you?
• Would you rather eat every meal with your hands or every meal with chopsticks?
• Would you rather a bakery next door or a wine bar next door?
• Would you rather share every dessert or never share a single chip?
• Would you rather grow your own vegetables or bake your own bread?
• Would you rather cook from a recipe every time or never look at one?
• Would you rather your tea was always lukewarm or your toast always a little burnt?

Money and work

• Would you rather earn twice as much and see me half as often or keep things exactly as they are?
• Would you rather retire at fifty with a small pension or work until seventy with a big one?
• Would you rather win the lottery and have to tell everyone or win half as much and tell nobody?
• Would you rather a job you love that pays badly or a job you tolerate that pays well?
• Would you rather work four long days or five short ones?
• Would you rather we both worked from home or both worked in the same office?
• Would you rather never check your bank balance or check it every hour?
• Would you rather a bonus you had to spend on me or one you had to spend on yourself?
• Would you rather pay off every debt or take a year off work?
• Would you rather run a small café together or never work together at all?
• Would you rather a boss who is brilliant and cold or kind and hopeless?
• Would you rather commute an hour by train with a book or ten minutes by car in traffic?
• Would you rather buy cheap and replace often or buy once and pay a lot?
• Would you rather split every bill exactly or take turns and never count?
• Would you rather your dream job in a city you hate or a boring job in a place you love?

The future

• Would you rather know exactly where we will live in twenty years or exactly what we will be doing?
• Would you rather a huge party for our next big anniversary or just the two of us and a very good bottle?
• Would you rather live in one house for the rest of our lives or move every five years?
• Would you rather we became the house everyone visits or the couple who is never in?
• Would you rather learn one new skill every year or master one thing over the next decade?
• Would you rather retire somewhere we know every street or somewhere neither of us has ever been?
• Would you rather write a book together or build something together with our hands?
• Would you rather see one photo from our life in thirty years or hear one sentence from it?
• Would you rather a family tradition we invent or one we inherit?
• Would you rather our home was full of family at Christmas or full of friends at New Year?
• Would you rather still be dancing at eighty or still be hiking at eighty?
• Would you rather we made one big change next year or ten small ones?
• Would you rather read a letter I write you today in ten years or write one for me to read then?
• Would you rather know the one thing we will still argue about at seventy or the one thing we will have stopped arguing about?
• Would you rather be the pair who still finishes each other’s sentences or the pair who still surprises each other?

Travel and adventure

• Would you rather cross a country by train or by boat?
• Would you rather swim with sharks in a cage or walk a rope bridge over a gorge?
• Would you rather see the northern lights or a volcano from a safe distance?
• Would you rather a backpack for a month or a suitcase for a week?
• Would you rather learn to sail or learn to climb?
• Would you rather a hot country in winter or a cold country in summer?
• Would you rather a night train with a tiny bunk or an early flight with a big seat?
• Would you rather we both took the same photos or neither of us took any?
• Would you rather move abroad for a year or have someone from abroad move in with us for a year?
• Would you rather a tandem bike or a two-person kayak?
• Would you rather visit every capital city or every coastline?
• Would you rather spot a whale from a small boat or an elephant from a jeep?
• Would you rather stay in a stranger’s spare room or in a tent in their garden?
• Would you rather jump from the boat first or watch me do it and then decide?
• Would you rather go a week with no phone signal or a week with no hot water?

The scored version

On two phones, each of you picks privately and the picks are revealed side by side. Every match adds to a compatibility score that follows your room, so after a few weeks you have a percentage for how alike you two really are. Eight dilemmas a round, three minutes, no repeats for a month.