150 questions to ask your boyfriend or girlfriend

Easy ones for a Tuesday

• What is the best thing you ate this week?
• What song is stuck in your head right now?
• Which of my habits did you notice first?
• What do you order when you are not trying to impress anyone?
• What is your most used emoji, honestly?
• Which app on your phone would you be most embarrassed to explain?
• What did you want to be at ten years old?
• What is the last thing that made you laugh out loud on your own?
• Tea, coffee, or whatever is closest?
• What is your go-to comfort film?
• Which chore do you secretly like?
• What smell takes you straight back to childhood?
• What is the best gift you have ever been given?
• If you had a free afternoon tomorrow, what would you do with it?
• What is your unpopular food opinion?
• What was your first screen name?
• What do you always overpack?
• What is your favourite word?
• Sunrise or sunset, and be honest about which you actually see?
• What is your karaoke song?

About us

• What did you think the first time you saw me?
• What was the moment you knew this was going to be a thing?
• Which of our dates would you repeat exactly?
• What is a small thing I do that you would miss?
• Which of my friends do you think gets me best?
• What do you think I am better at than you?
• What is your favourite photo of us, and why that one?
• What is something you have wanted to plan for us but have not said?
• Which of my stories have you heard the most times?
• What do you think our friends say about us when we leave?
• What is the nicest thing I have done that I probably forgot?
• Which argument of ours was the most pointless?
• What is a tradition you would like us to have?
• Where do you picture us in five years, no pressure?
• What was the last thing I said that surprised you?
• What do you wish we did more often?
• What did you learn about me this month?
• What is my tell when I am lying?
• What is one thing you would change about how we spend weekends?
• What are you proud of us for?

A bit deeper

• What is a fear you have mostly grown out of?
• When do you feel most like yourself?
• What is something you believe that most people around you do not?
• What is the hardest thing you have forgiven someone for?
• What do you think you are wrong about right now?
• What does a good day look like, start to finish?
• What did your parents get right?
• What do you want more of this year, and less of?
• What is a compliment you never know how to accept?
• Which version of you from the past would you like to reassure?
• What do you do when you are sad that you do not tell people?
• What is a small kindness someone did that you still think about?
• What are you avoiding?
• What would you do with a year and no obligations?
• What does home mean to you?
• Who do you want to be more like?
• What is something you are quietly good at?
• What do you need when you are stressed that you never ask for?
• What is the best advice you have ignored?
• What would you want me to know if you could not tell me directly?

Silly ones

• What would your walk-on music be?
• Which animal would you be worst at being?
• What is your villain origin story?
• If you had to eat one cuisine forever, which one and which dish first?
• What is the most ridiculous thing you have bought at 1am?
• What conspiracy theory would you start?
• Which historical figure would be the worst dinner guest?
• What would you name a boat?
• Which of your relatives would win a fight?
• What is the worst haircut you have had, and do photos exist?
• What superpower would be most annoying to have?
• If our relationship were a sitcom, what is the episode where everything goes wrong?
• What is the pettiest hill you would die on?
• What would you do first if you were invisible for an hour?
• What is the most over-rated film you secretly love?
• What would your autobiography be called?
• Which board game would you ban?
• What food do you refuse to share?
• What would you do with a million pounds, badly?
• What is your least useful skill?

If you are long distance

• What is the first thing you want to do when I am next in the same room as you?
• What time of day do you miss me most?
• Which of my messages do you reread?
• What have you seen this week that you wished I was there for?
• What does your kitchen smell like right now?
• What can you see out of your window that I have never seen?
• What is the hardest part of the time difference for you?
• Which of our calls would you replay if you could?
• What do you do in the ten minutes after we hang up?
• What is one thing about your day that I would never guess?
• What would you cook for me if I turned up tonight?
• Which small object of mine do you wish you had with you?
• What is a place near you that you are saving to show me in person?
• What do you tell people when they ask how we make it work?
• What happened today that you would have told me in person but forgot to text?
• What should we do on the first full day of my next visit?
• If you could post one thing to me tomorrow, what would go in the parcel?
• How do you want to be woken up by a message: a photo, a voice note or a question?
• What have you got better at since we started living apart?
• When you picture us in the same city, what does an ordinary Wednesday look like?

Money, work and the future

• What did your family teach you about money without meaning to?
• What is the most you would spend on a meal without telling me first?
• Which bill do you resent paying the most?
• What would you do with an unexpected five hundred pounds?
• What part of your job would you keep doing if you did not need the pay?
• What is a purchase you regret, and one you would make again tomorrow?
• How do you honestly feel about splitting everything fifty fifty?
• What is the one thing you would never scrimp on?
• What would you want to be true about our home in ten years?
• What does retirement look like in your head?
• What is a career risk you have been tempted by?
• What are you saving for that you have not said out loud?
• How would you want us to handle a month when one of us is short?
• Which of your work habits comes home with you?
• What should we agree on before we ever share a bank account?

Firsts and formative years

• What was the first thing you saved up to buy with your own money?
• Who was your first proper friend, and are you still in touch?
• What is the first film you remember seeing in a cinema?
• What was the first thing you learnt to cook on your own?
• Which teacher changed something for you?
• What was your bedroom like when you were fourteen?
• What did you get in trouble for most as a kid?
• What was the first gig you went to, and who did you go with?
• What rule in your childhood home did you think was normal until you left?
• What was your first paid job, and were you any good at it?
• What was the first thing you did alone in a new city?
• Which family holiday do you remember most clearly?
• What did your family eat every single week?
• What did you believe as a child that took embarrassingly long to correct?
• Who were you trying to impress at sixteen?

Late night, lights off

• What is your favourite way to be woken up?
• When did you last feel completely relaxed with me?
• What keeps you awake more often: worry or excitement?
• Which side of the bed would you fight for?
• What is a romantic thing you have wanted but never asked for?
• What does being held do for you on a bad day?
• What compliment would you like to hear from me more often?
• What do you notice about me that you have never mentioned?
• What is your idea of a perfect lazy morning together?
• When do you feel closest to me?
• What song would you want playing for a slow dance in the kitchen?
• What is something small I could do that would make you feel wanted?
• What is your favourite thing about the way I say goodnight?
• What do you find attractive that you think I would not expect?
• What did you first notice about the way I look at you?
• Which memory of us do you go back to when you cannot sleep?
• Do you prefer talking in the dark or in daylight, and why?
• What is the quietest moment we have had that you still think about?
• How do you like to be told you are loved: said, written or shown?
• What would you want tonight to be remembered for?

How to make the answers better

Ask one at a time and answer it yourself too. Do not ask a “deeper” one in the middle of a busy evening. And when you want honest answers with no adjusting to what the other person said, put the question on two phones with the reveal rule: Question of the day does exactly that, one a day, with a streak for keeping it up.